"Hello! Is this Anton's Pizza."
"No sir, this is Google's Pizza."
"Did I dial the wrong number?
"No sir, Google bought the pizza store."
"Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please."
"Okay sir, do you want the usual?"
"The usual? You know what my usual is?"
"According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust."
"Okay, that’s what I want this time too."
"May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?"
(more…)...
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A man is going to make his first flight ever. At the airport he is frightened and nervous. But the check-in agent explains everything patiently and clearly. Thus, he knows he will need to pass security and how the procedure is.
At the gate he meets the check-in agent again. Now she also explains to him the bording procedure and how he can find his seat on board.
Once in his seat he hears the engines beginning to roar. A little bit frightened by the noise he grips the arms of his seat, closes... 
hile Bill is waiting at the airport to board his plane, he notices a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune. He drops a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displays: “You weigh 195 pounds, you are married and you are on your way to San Diego.” Bill stands there dumbfounded.
Another man puts in a quarter and the computer reads: “You weigh 184 pounds, you are divorced, and you are on your way to Chicago.” Bill asks the man: “Are you divorced and on our way... 
Lost luggage
A funny video shows 2 guys who are hungry, but the fridge is empty. A McDonald's is not far away, at least not if you pick up the meal by helicopter at the fly-thru.
On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his right-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."
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