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Category Archives: Humor

$10 is $10

Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha went every year to the Portland Fair and every year Stumpy said: "You know, Martha, I would like to get a ride in that airplane." And every year, Martha would say: "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs $10 and $10 is $10."

One year Stumpy says: "Martha, I am 71 years old, and if I do not go this time I may never go." Martha replies: "Stumpy, that airplane ride is $10 and $10 is $10."

The pilot overhears them and says: "Folks, I will make you a deal....

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The world’s smartest politician

An airplane was making a flight from New York City to Washington, DC. The people on board were the pilot, a politician, a Boy Scout, and a priest. Suddenly, the engine stalled.

The pilot said: “There are only three parachutes on board. I have got a family down there. I need to take care of them." He grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The politician said: “I am the world's smartest politician. There is an election coming up. I need to win it to lead the country into a better future." He grabbed a parachute and jumped out,...

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Cat installed

After every flight, pilots fill out a form describing problems that need repair or correction. The mechanics correct the problem and respond what remedial action was taken.

Read some actual logged maintenance complaints and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened...

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OH, MY GOD!

Shortly after takeoff the captain made an announcement over the intercom:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap....
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Hard landing

During the final approach of San Jose airport, the captain really has to fight it on a very windy and bumpy day.

After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant says:

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to San Jose. Please remain seated with your seat belts securely fastened while the captain taxis what is left of our airplane to the gate.”

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