Category Archives: Humor

A photographer for a magazine has an assignment to take pictures of a great forest fire. He has been advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrives at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Indeed, a small Cessna airplane is waiting. He jumps in with his equipment and shouts: "Let's go!"

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swings the plane into the wind and soon they are in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over...

Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha went every year to the Portland Fair and every year Stumpy said: "You know, Martha, I would like to get a ride in that airplane." And every year, Martha would say: "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs $10 and $10 is $10."

One year Stumpy says: "Martha, I am 71 years old, and if I do not go this time I may never go." Martha replies: "Stumpy, that airplane ride is $10 and $10 is $10."

The pilot overhears them and says: "Folks, I will make you a deal....

An airplane was making a flight from New York City to Washington, DC. The people on board were the pilot, a politician, a Boy Scout, and a priest. Suddenly, the engine stalled.

The pilot said: “There are only three parachutes on board. I have got a family down there. I need to take care of them." He grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The politician said: “I am the world's smartest politician. There is an election coming up. I need to win it to lead the country into a better future." He grabbed a parachute and jumped out,...

After every flight, pilots fill out a form describing problems that need repair or correction. The mechanics correct the problem and respond what remedial action was taken.

Read some actual logged maintenance complaints and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot.
S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened...

Shortly after takeoff the captain made an announcement over the intercom:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap....

One of the announcements from the pilot during his welcome message:

"World Airlines is pleased to have hired some of the best flight attendants in the industry.

Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

...