Category Archives: Humor

Too few meals on board

alcoholThere are 193 passengers on board an intercontinental flight. However, only 70 meals have been loaded onto the aircraft. Obviously, the airline has messed up and the cabin crew is facing a problem. After some discussion one of the flight attendants has an idea. About 1 hour into the flight she nervously announces: "I do not know how this happened, but we have 193 passengers and only 70 meals on board". Small wonder that the announcement causes some uproar in the plane. When the passengers stop muttering and calm down the flight attendant continues. "Perhaps...
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Signs of a no frills airline

no frillsSigns you have chosen a no frills airline: You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro. The captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking. The captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway. You ask the captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once." No movie. Do not need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes. You see a...
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How (not) to prevent your ears from popping

ears-popPilot: “Have you ever flown in a small plane before?” Passenger: “No, I have not.” Pilot: “Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.” Pilot (after the plane landed): “Did the gum help?” Passenger: “Yes. It worked fine. The only trouble is I cannot get the gum out of my ears.”...
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Ideas for even more fees

Ryanair is not only famous for its wide variety of fees that may add up to more than the base fare, but also for its innovative ideas. And, of course, for its CEO Michael O'Leary, who considers his customers stupid as you can read here. Although never implemented, Ryanair's innovative ideas include increasing revenue by offering standing room - as opposed to seats - and introducing fees for using the lavatories in the plane. However, there are a lot more possibilities to squeeze more money out  of passengers' pockets as the funny parody...
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Studying for the pilot license

When a flight attendant leaves the flight deck, a lady sitting first class catches a glimpse through the cockpit door. She is incredulous to see that the pilot is reading. Very concerned she asks the flight attendant: “Miss, why is the pilot reading? Isn’t he supposed to be flying? “ The woman faints when the flight attendant says: "Oh well, he is just studying for his pilot license."...
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The saddest story

Bill, Jim, and Scott are at a convention together and are sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings they are shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel are broken. They will have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill says: “Let us break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I will tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.”
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