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Category Archives: Humor

You just missed your flight

While Bill is waiting at the airport to board his plane, he notices a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune. He drops a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displays: “You weigh 195 pounds, you are married and you are on your way to San Diego.” Bill stands there dumbfounded. Another man puts in a quarter and the computer reads: “You weigh 184 pounds, you are divorced, and you are on your way to Chicago.” Bill asks the man: “Are you divorced and on our way...
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Aviation humor

Lost luggage

After returning from a trip overseas, my luggage doesn’t show up in the airport baggage area. Being a frequent flyer I know the drill and go to the lost luggage office. I tell the woman there that my bag hasn't shown up on the carousel. She smiles and tells me not to worry because they are trained professionals and that I am in good hands. "Now," she asks, "has your plane arrived yet?"

In-flight emergency?

On a recent flight from New York to Seattle an elderly lady stands up and shouts: "Is there a...
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Passport expired

"Hello! Is this Anton's Pizza." "No sir, this is Google's Pizza." "Did I dial the wrong number? "No sir, Google bought the pizza store." "Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please." "Okay sir, do you want the usual?" "The usual? You know what my usual is?" "According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust." "Okay, that’s what I want this time too." "May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?" (more…)...
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McDonald’s Fly-Thru

A funny video shows 2 guys who are hungry, but the fridge is empty. A McDonald's is not far away, at least not if you pick up the meal by helicopter at the fly-thru.

Fly-thru

They take a helicopter to go to the restaurant, so the drive-thru becomes a fly-thru. Along the way, they order their meal by phone. When they approach the McDonald's, there are only 3 cars in the parking lot. The restaurant and the pickup window seem closed. (more…)...
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Right turn indicator

On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his right-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."

Tags: humor, wing-tip light

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Too few meals on board

alcoholThere are 193 passengers on board an intercontinental flight. However, only 70 meals have been loaded onto the aircraft. Obviously, the airline has messed up and the cabin crew is facing a problem. After some discussion one of the flight attendants has an idea. About 1 hour into the flight she nervously announces: "I do not know how this happened, but we have 193 passengers and only 70 meals on board". Small wonder that the announcement causes some uproar in the plane. When the passengers stop muttering and calm down the flight attendant continues. "Perhaps...
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